Wow, my first blog, I have so much to share and I know I can’t say everything in one blog that has happened to me in the past 58 years, being the crazy person that I am, and being married for 33 years and raising 5 children. I will say that I am finally a grandmother of 5 week old twin boys! They are so cute! One of my many blessings in life.
My niece gave me this blog to be able to put into words some of the events of my life and also some of the issue that I, of all people, seem to come across. As my family puts it, “why does everything happen to you, Kathy?” Well I don’t know, but I probably deserve it, being quite the brat as a child, I have even recently got on my knees and asked forgiveness of my mother for some of the things I have said and put her through during my years as her daughter, which has been the past 58 years. She just laughs and says, “Oh honey, I forgave you for that a long time ago” It is all coming to light for me know that MY children are growing up and putting me through some of the very issues that I put my poor mother through. So now I have such empathy and compassion for her. This is her crowning hour, I’m sure. It is to bad she has short term memory loss or she could do a lot of gloating.
I hope you enjoy my crazy, honest blog about life. I am going to post a story I wrote in 1987. I only had 2 kids at the time and my husband was taking me out to an awards dinner. Now this was before cell phones and fake nails and all of that. I hope you enjoy this true story.
Just a Mom
This Friday started out like most of my days, with four hands and four feet stepping and climbing over my sleeping body. After the squirming stopped, with both heads tucked under my neck, the vocals started in., “Mama get up, make me some breakfast”, came the voice of my 4 year old. My thoughts suddenly went back 26 years to my own voice beckoning my mother out of bed just to fill my empty stomach. I thought, how could she sleep through my needs!. The thought occurred to me to send my 2 toddlers out to watch television. I conveniently taught them how to turn on the power and change the channels in an emergency such as this! Instead, I drag myself out of bed and listen to their cries of hunger as I take time to at least brush my teeth. I will have to shower later anyway because tonight is a special night.
My usual morning routine is to carry my 4 year old and his 2-year-old sister in my arms so that my 4 year old doesn’t have to hear again how big he is getting. We arrive at the kitchen with blankie in tact. After they eat only half the breakfast they were dying for, I proceed to negotiate with my oldest over what to wear. I don’t have time for too many mishaps today, tonight is my husband’s fancy award’s banquet and I have 3 errands to run before naptime. The bank, pick up the tuxedo, grocery store, oops, and I am out of gas. No problem, I can drive through the gas station and the bank, if only I could drive through the grocery store!
Well, I survived the store with fruit roll-ups and crackers. If only my 4 year old’s legs could move faster down the isles. I coax and coax and it seems he is moving even slower today! Maybe I am just moving faster. We head home for lunch and nap, please baby, don’t fall asleep in the car, that will mess up Mama’s day, remember I have this big night planned.
We made it home and the kids are fed and into bed! This gave me 2 hours to pamper myself and try and look like I do this every day. How can I put colored polish on these brittle nails, these poor things that wring out diapers, wash dishes and dirty faces all day. I stopped wearing rubber gloves years ago so there isn’t much hope. All the other ladies tonight will have beautiful manicured nails, I will have to sit on my hands!
The kids woke up early from their naps, not today!! I am only half pampered! Maybe no one will notice. I could try and talk my husband out of going tonight except he rented a tuxedo. So here I sit cradling a babe in each arm, rocking and singing instead of getting ready.
It is finally time to slip into my dress. I just know this dress I bought is not shiny enough, it is too simple. Thinking of the budget, I purchased a dress that I could wear again to church. The dinner is semi-formal and I feel anti-formal. I don’t feel elegant enough, I should have bought the hot pink sequin dress and never wore it again. I waited to get dressed until the last minute so I wouldn’t get wrinkled or dirty by loving little hands. Sometimes I wish I could get dressed after I leave home.
Finally after many good-bye kisses and prying off hands from my dress, we are out the door in a whirlwind. Why is it such an ordeal to get all the details in place just to slip away for a few hours? It takes more energy for this evening than cleaning the entire house.
As we arrive, I ducked into the cloakroom to hang up my three-year-old wool coat with some of the most beautiful mink coats! What would a housewife and mother do with a mink coat anyway, wear it to the grocer store on a cold day! I wanted to stay in that cloakroom all night, but reluctantly joined the room full of tuxedos and sparkling, twinkling, shining dresses that could not be worn later to church. Why didn’t I at least buy a sparkling pin or necklace instead of wearing my pearls. I looked so practical.
My husband introduced me to co-workers and wives, and co-workers that were wives. I couldn’t tell which one looked like an ordinary housewife. Then it began, the dreaded small talk. “Where do you work?” “What do you do?” I cringed a little in my plain wool dress, I wanted to reply that I can make dinner with 2 crying kids, one at my foot and one on my hip; I can be sick and still get up at night and take care of sick kids, then climb out of bed and fix breakfast the next morning; I can shop holding 2 wild Indians and get everything on my list; I can decipher baby talk and give the needed response; I can sleep sitting up and singing. Instead I said, “Oh I don’t work, I’m just a Mom”.
Towards the end of the evening I had myself convinced that I didn’t belong at this banquet. Most everyone there was receiving an award or congratulating some one on a job well done, rewarding their efforts for the year. They received awards for the top performance, a shining success! The only thing I had that shined was the chrome in my kitchen. Why was I here anyway, I am just a housewife and mother, I didn’t fit in. I wished I had sat closer to the cloakroom.
After all the awards were given out, they announced that there was but one more. Everyone seemed to be so excited about this one. I figured it must be the most significant one of the evenings. Someone that shined above all the rest was about to get noticed. I sat there listening as they mentioned a woman who had worked very hard for many years, (great, it had to be a woman) then the tone of their voice changed, and they began to speak with awe. They were congratulating this woman for making the most respected career choice, for her honorable effort and the dedication that it will take to complete it. I felt my heart sinking, then I listened further and to my surprise, they announced that she was leaving her career behind and going home to raise her son! What? She had chosen the most important job she could ever do and they were proud of her discernment, dedication and loyalty to be, what just a Mom!
As the room stood to applaud her, I rose to my feet, and lifted my chin. I was shining after all.
Kathy Esway 1987